The new English Premier League (EPL) Season kicked off yesterday with the usual hooha and hoopla. EPL may not be the sexiest of the football leagues, but it's by far the most widely watched, thanks to clever marketing, extortionate merchandising and disguised human trafficking. In Malaysia, EPL has more followers and fan clubs than the sickly Liga Super and Liga Premier combined. For all the talk and walk, our PM has admitted that he's a hard-core fan of Manchester United instead of Felda United.
An EPL season consists of 1000 games or about 2000 hours of football, excluding cup contests, injury time, repeat telecasts and repeat injuries. Games are generally played at breakneck pace, and any talented teenage upstart can consider himself truly gifted if he can complete the season in one piece, with no bones broken by attack dogs like Vidic and Neville. Most of you, if not all, will watch most of the live games, if not all (Only a retiree can come up with loony lines like this). And most of you, like our PM, have a team or two that you like or like to hate. My unscientific research has unearthed a clear, racially polarized trend: Malays watch only Manchester United, Indians would die for Liverpool but not for Samy Vellu, and Shebby Singh supports Spurs. Malays and Indians (and rest of the world) tend to avoid Bolton Wanderers. Chinese? Illegal betting. Mind you, these are just statistical means or averages. There are outliers or exceptions, of course, who still support Kelantan etc. Since I've got all covered, there's no real urgency to argue with me on the validity of these findings.
So which team tugs at your heart-strings? Man U and Liverpool, you say. So passe, so yesterday, so Melayu. Best is dead, Beckham has left and Giggs is hitting 36 and you're still strung-out on them. That's still Ok compared to my Tiger Lane classmates. They went to England for studies in the 70's and ended up cheering Southampton and Brighton (both now in League 1, a glorified English 3rd Division). They still do, in the closet.
So which is the team of today? It's Manchester. Manchester City. Unlike its tired and debt-ridden neighbour United, City is a gust of fresh air. It's a modern and cosmopolitan football club crawling with new-age, smooth-looking internationals like Hart, Johnson, Tevez, Boateng and Balotelli who will set your pulse racing. (Ok, Tevez does have some rough edges)
If that's not inspiring enough, how about this: Manchester City is now owned by a Muslim moneybags from Abu Dhabi, not 10%, not 50%, but full, 100%. Impatient and ambitious, he's already invested more than 200 million pounds (money, not weight) on new players. You can only guess how much is that money worth in Kelantan Gold Dinar. The Sheikh's noble mission is to break the monotony and stranglehold of the CLAM cartel (Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal, MU), and turn City into something bigger than Barca plus Real. It's a serious and sensible business proposition any day. Instead it's drawn an unprecedented level of envy and anger and expletives. About everyone outside the City of Manchester Stadium and across Europe just wants City to implode and flounder. Including, ironically, that balding, stammering and irritating former and failed City player Steve McMahon. Why is it not right for somebody with the right cashflow to invest bigtime in City when it's OK for the Americans and even the Russian mafia to invest in the CLAM cartel and pile up dead debts? Shah Rukh Khan flaunted all his dirty movie money and star power to buy and fly a cricket team and nobody raised a whimper. Hypocrisy and double standards to the core.
I've no problem with PM's wife falling for Man U. She loves our PM. Not much of a choice there. But you have a choice. If you're caught in the CLAM scam or you just happen to be one of the Brighton lost boys, it's time to move on and get some life. Join the Blue Revolution. Watch Manchester City.
An EPL season consists of 1000 games or about 2000 hours of football, excluding cup contests, injury time, repeat telecasts and repeat injuries. Games are generally played at breakneck pace, and any talented teenage upstart can consider himself truly gifted if he can complete the season in one piece, with no bones broken by attack dogs like Vidic and Neville. Most of you, if not all, will watch most of the live games, if not all (Only a retiree can come up with loony lines like this). And most of you, like our PM, have a team or two that you like or like to hate. My unscientific research has unearthed a clear, racially polarized trend: Malays watch only Manchester United, Indians would die for Liverpool but not for Samy Vellu, and Shebby Singh supports Spurs. Malays and Indians (and rest of the world) tend to avoid Bolton Wanderers. Chinese? Illegal betting. Mind you, these are just statistical means or averages. There are outliers or exceptions, of course, who still support Kelantan etc. Since I've got all covered, there's no real urgency to argue with me on the validity of these findings.
So which team tugs at your heart-strings? Man U and Liverpool, you say. So passe, so yesterday, so Melayu. Best is dead, Beckham has left and Giggs is hitting 36 and you're still strung-out on them. That's still Ok compared to my Tiger Lane classmates. They went to England for studies in the 70's and ended up cheering Southampton and Brighton (both now in League 1, a glorified English 3rd Division). They still do, in the closet.
So which is the team of today? It's Manchester. Manchester City. Unlike its tired and debt-ridden neighbour United, City is a gust of fresh air. It's a modern and cosmopolitan football club crawling with new-age, smooth-looking internationals like Hart, Johnson, Tevez, Boateng and Balotelli who will set your pulse racing. (Ok, Tevez does have some rough edges)
If that's not inspiring enough, how about this: Manchester City is now owned by a Muslim moneybags from Abu Dhabi, not 10%, not 50%, but full, 100%. Impatient and ambitious, he's already invested more than 200 million pounds (money, not weight) on new players. You can only guess how much is that money worth in Kelantan Gold Dinar. The Sheikh's noble mission is to break the monotony and stranglehold of the CLAM cartel (Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal, MU), and turn City into something bigger than Barca plus Real. It's a serious and sensible business proposition any day. Instead it's drawn an unprecedented level of envy and anger and expletives. About everyone outside the City of Manchester Stadium and across Europe just wants City to implode and flounder. Including, ironically, that balding, stammering and irritating former and failed City player Steve McMahon. Why is it not right for somebody with the right cashflow to invest bigtime in City when it's OK for the Americans and even the Russian mafia to invest in the CLAM cartel and pile up dead debts? Shah Rukh Khan flaunted all his dirty movie money and star power to buy and fly a cricket team and nobody raised a whimper. Hypocrisy and double standards to the core.
I've no problem with PM's wife falling for Man U. She loves our PM. Not much of a choice there. But you have a choice. If you're caught in the CLAM scam or you just happen to be one of the Brighton lost boys, it's time to move on and get some life. Join the Blue Revolution. Watch Manchester City.
i have a similar pic in front of the stadium ..
ReplyDeleteYou mooner? We'll be champs this year.
ReplyDeleteGreat article mate. I too can't understand the attitude of McMahon and have written to Astro several times about the matter - sour grapes perhaps.
ReplyDeleteBy the way did you see one of my childhood heroes - Peter Barnes- on ESPN recently. Came up as an ex-ManUre player. He and his family are die hard blues. Ken Barnes (RIP) would be spinning in his grave.
Dave.
I missed that one, but Peter Barnes is great, better than A Johnson. But I still rate Lee and Bell as best City players ever.Watched England vs Switzerland last night? Six City players playing, unbelievable ! Milner and Barry were so good, real class.Just can't wait for these guys to really gel in and win something.
ReplyDelete