For a reigning retiree, the two-month lull between the World Cup final and EPL ranks among the most stressful of times. Not as bad as the notorious post-natal variety, but it's depressing enough. Nothing seems to move, not even Samy and his MIC. Luckily we have morons, plenty of them, to fill up the void. Like the ubiquitous manholes, they're real and here with us for some reason. (Samy and morons in one line is pure coincidence. Honest):
1. I was stumped recently when my youngest, Sarah, asked me the meaning of 'terkedu'. Yes, it's a valid Malay word. Not Kelantanese or youngish rubbish like kantoi, awek etc. Frankly I wasn't quite sure about the meaning of 'terkedu'. But I could guess by its sound! That's doubly disturbing because Sarah was preparing for UPSR and my Malay had been officially certified as excellent by virtue of my A1 in an exam 40 years ago ( my F9 for Chemistry is irrelevant here). In a weak attempt to appear unruffled, I asked Sarah for the question paper, and there's the question in its full glory. It ran like this:
Question: Ahmad .............bila melihat seorang gadis cantik di hadapannya.
Answer: A. Terkejut B. Terkedu C. Terpegun D.Terbabas.
One look, there's nothing wrong with the question, written by, I guessed, a well-trained lady teacher with at least 20 years' experience. Shaken, I looked again and almost screamed in triumph and sweet revenge. The correct or intended answer was 'terpegun'. Really? Is that a standard reaction or response from a boy (assuming Ahmad is a boy) upon seeing a pretty girl? What if Ahmad was just a five-year old? Or an overrun retiree, like me? Or a ripe 17-year old but with, well, a 'different' lifestyle? The answer might well be none of the above. Or 'terkedu', whatever it means. Or even terbabas !
No insinuation or allusion here. I've nothing against the teaching profession. The teacher is NOT a moron. On the strength of this particular question, she's at least average. My argument is strictly hypothetical. It's not fair to expect the poor teacher to reframe the question by expanding Ahmad with qualifiers like his age, social orientation etc. That would certainly add more confusion for Sarah and probably her mom, too. More information isn't necessarily helpful, especially if you're untrained. My friend and I learned this the hard way when we sat for GMAT about 30 years ago. You've to score a near-perfect GMAT if you're gunning for Harvard, Kellogg or Wharton. In the maths section, the first question began with " x is an integer. What would be the value of x if.............." I skipped and jumped to the next one, again it began with " x is an integer.........". So was the next one. And the next one. Five consecutive questions. Man, I couldn't breathe. I'd heard of odd and even numbers, but integer? It's basic maths but I was completely wrong-footed by this seven-letter fear factor. What? You know integer? I didn't attempt the five integer questions because there's a steep penalty for a wrong guess. I could've easily aced the questions without this little clue about x. The sad, subdued atmosphere on the way back was finally broken when my friend asked me "What's an integer?" ( with ger as in burger!). We laughed out loud the whole week. We didn't go to Harvard. They accept only geniuses and near-geniuses. Not near-morons.
2. A study led by a Harvard economist found that your early childhood education did shape your later life. A tracking of 12000 children (age 30 now) in Tennessee showed that those who 'd learned much more in kindergartens were more likely to go to college and earn more. This is scary. Kindergartens in Malaysia are bad enough as they are. Unlike sugar and flour, kindergartens are largely unregulated and unsubsidized. Annual fees are typically made up of tuition fee (10%), books(10%), stationery fee (5%) and stationary fee (75%, non-refundable). It's not uncommon for a kindergarten in KL to charge a five-year old kid RM5,000 a year. UTM is charging only RM3,000 a year for undergraduate engineering. Apparently the kindergarten owners increase their fees based on their brain waves. Of course you can never get to see the waves because of the brain size. The fees will soon reach moronic proportions once they hear about this little Harvard study !
3. Two recent public appointments have already breached the moronic level. One was the reelection of a former and failed deputy president as a new deputy president of FAM. He 'll be having 'hard times' reporting to the unopposed president, who happens to be his father. Malaysia is currently ranked 142nd by FIFA, just below Burundi. Enough said. The other appointment was equally mindless. Two hyperactive local movie producers were appointed to FINAS Board. No rules were broken, claimed an (quite rightly) unnamed official. The players now are regulating themselves and fellow players. This must be good-governance's finest hour. What do we get next? Ah Longs on Bank Negara Board?
1. I was stumped recently when my youngest, Sarah, asked me the meaning of 'terkedu'. Yes, it's a valid Malay word. Not Kelantanese or youngish rubbish like kantoi, awek etc. Frankly I wasn't quite sure about the meaning of 'terkedu'. But I could guess by its sound! That's doubly disturbing because Sarah was preparing for UPSR and my Malay had been officially certified as excellent by virtue of my A1 in an exam 40 years ago ( my F9 for Chemistry is irrelevant here). In a weak attempt to appear unruffled, I asked Sarah for the question paper, and there's the question in its full glory. It ran like this:
Question: Ahmad .............bila melihat seorang gadis cantik di hadapannya.
Answer: A. Terkejut B. Terkedu C. Terpegun D.Terbabas.
One look, there's nothing wrong with the question, written by, I guessed, a well-trained lady teacher with at least 20 years' experience. Shaken, I looked again and almost screamed in triumph and sweet revenge. The correct or intended answer was 'terpegun'. Really? Is that a standard reaction or response from a boy (assuming Ahmad is a boy) upon seeing a pretty girl? What if Ahmad was just a five-year old? Or an overrun retiree, like me? Or a ripe 17-year old but with, well, a 'different' lifestyle? The answer might well be none of the above. Or 'terkedu', whatever it means. Or even terbabas !
No insinuation or allusion here. I've nothing against the teaching profession. The teacher is NOT a moron. On the strength of this particular question, she's at least average. My argument is strictly hypothetical. It's not fair to expect the poor teacher to reframe the question by expanding Ahmad with qualifiers like his age, social orientation etc. That would certainly add more confusion for Sarah and probably her mom, too. More information isn't necessarily helpful, especially if you're untrained. My friend and I learned this the hard way when we sat for GMAT about 30 years ago. You've to score a near-perfect GMAT if you're gunning for Harvard, Kellogg or Wharton. In the maths section, the first question began with " x is an integer. What would be the value of x if.............." I skipped and jumped to the next one, again it began with " x is an integer.........". So was the next one. And the next one. Five consecutive questions. Man, I couldn't breathe. I'd heard of odd and even numbers, but integer? It's basic maths but I was completely wrong-footed by this seven-letter fear factor. What? You know integer? I didn't attempt the five integer questions because there's a steep penalty for a wrong guess. I could've easily aced the questions without this little clue about x. The sad, subdued atmosphere on the way back was finally broken when my friend asked me "What's an integer?" ( with ger as in burger!). We laughed out loud the whole week. We didn't go to Harvard. They accept only geniuses and near-geniuses. Not near-morons.
2. A study led by a Harvard economist found that your early childhood education did shape your later life. A tracking of 12000 children (age 30 now) in Tennessee showed that those who 'd learned much more in kindergartens were more likely to go to college and earn more. This is scary. Kindergartens in Malaysia are bad enough as they are. Unlike sugar and flour, kindergartens are largely unregulated and unsubsidized. Annual fees are typically made up of tuition fee (10%), books(10%), stationery fee (5%) and stationary fee (75%, non-refundable). It's not uncommon for a kindergarten in KL to charge a five-year old kid RM5,000 a year. UTM is charging only RM3,000 a year for undergraduate engineering. Apparently the kindergarten owners increase their fees based on their brain waves. Of course you can never get to see the waves because of the brain size. The fees will soon reach moronic proportions once they hear about this little Harvard study !
3. Two recent public appointments have already breached the moronic level. One was the reelection of a former and failed deputy president as a new deputy president of FAM. He 'll be having 'hard times' reporting to the unopposed president, who happens to be his father. Malaysia is currently ranked 142nd by FIFA, just below Burundi. Enough said. The other appointment was equally mindless. Two hyperactive local movie producers were appointed to FINAS Board. No rules were broken, claimed an (quite rightly) unnamed official. The players now are regulating themselves and fellow players. This must be good-governance's finest hour. What do we get next? Ah Longs on Bank Negara Board?
If you ask Pakcu about Sarah's test question, you'll get all A, B, C and D correct. He can even provide E, F and perhaps G!
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