What's become of the world we've known so well? From sand pumping to baby dumping, the mindless are having a dandy time. Why this sudden spate of the cruel and unusual? Lack of the mind-building Omega 3 with the higher price of egg and fish? Whatever's the reason, it'll get only lower just when you think it's hit the pits.
1.Dump, baby, dump.
Fashion is back in fashion. In Malaysia all things worse than bad happen in series, with increasing intensity. The first one will almost always set a benchmark for followers to up the ante. Religious deviants, maid abuses, school gangsters, bogus doctors, missing children, you name it. And now baby dumping. Bumping off babies is fast becoming a trend, if it's not already. A day hardly passed without somebody stumbling on a foetus somewhere. The relevant and irrelevant authorities were all at sea with this spike in the ranks of the insane adolescents. PAS blamed Valentine Day and New Year tender moments. A sharp deduction by the clerics, who're clearly working without the benefit of a CSI-class paraphernalia. The NGOs called for early sex education. Lucky thing we've a Cabinet of sensitive and sensible ministers who decided on the shock-and-awe route: reclassify baby dumping as murder. NGOs, being what they are, were up in arms and lambasted Bung Mokhtar (although he's not in the Cabinet and he'd not dumped anything yet, but who cares). They still wanted early sex education, now even earlier, like pre-school. But all the clever ministers and feisty activists missed one important point, that baby dumping is just a trend. More of a fashion. The obvious solution is to stop this trend on its tracks. Make the fashion obsolete. How? Do nothing, that's how. I mean stop publicizing or sensationalizing any new foetus found. No news, no details, no graphic footage. Total blackout. The police would still investigate and lock up the suspect longer, but without scripted and staid press conferences or media releases. Any baby-dumping aspirant will now be completely demotivated as the message crosses his/her brainless head: that nobody dumps babies anymore, baby dumping is out of date, it's no longer hip to hate babies. Dump is dumb. This way, the Valentine or New Year love child will get to see the light of day.
2. Titanic traffic in monotone
The 10-day, 100 km monster traffic jam on a highway leading to Beijing finally ended on 25 August. At its height cars moved at a speed of 1 km in one whole day. A well-fed tortoise can cover four times longer in one day, if the poor guy can last that long in open Chinese roads full of exotic-meat lovers. Homesick Kelantanese who fret annually about 15-hr trips back home for Hari Raya should be thankful that their hometown isn't Beijing or near Beijing. You lucky people. I've my daily dose of traffic jam sending Sarah to school in the morning. I don't mind the full 20 -minute commute especially with the radio on. Until lately. You turn on the radio, and there he is: Dato' Seri Utama Rais Yatim on the air, extolling the virtues of jalur gemilang, adat perpatih and gotong royong in a dragging, archaic and utterly incomprehensible Malay. Imagine if I've to listen to his monotone for 10 straight days on the road to Beijing! All in all, we KL road users can pretty much consider ourselves a pampered lot. Only one or two-hour jams, not ten days. Idris Jala and his transformers should find this handy when they're up for another round of scare-mongering.
3. King Kong vs Mickey Mouse
Football again. But don't skip this one. Deep in debts and spurned by all genuine investors and Nigerian scammers, Liverpool has yet to get around its swaggering and blue-blooded ways. Ahead of the match against moneyed Manchester City, a senior Liverpool figure likened it to King Kong vs Mickey Mouse. He went on further to suggest that the City Sheikh should've waited and bought Liverpool instead. In the Liverpool hierarchy of lamebrains, this guy is right at the very top. Mr Lamebrain, the Sheikh is uber-rich, and if he actually wanted to buy Liverpool he'd have bought Liverpool (and get rid of you) whether or not it's available. He could've bought Barcelona or the entire Catalonia if he wanted to. The Sheikh bought Manchester City because he wanted Manchester City. That simple. He didn't want to buy a big, boring club and turn it into a big, boring club. No fun. He's looking for the adventure and romance of turning a richly talented team into world beaters. RM and MU should be afraid. Liverpool? Never mind.
Oh, that match. I think you know the score.
4. Papa and mama, don't preach
Just be careful about what you preach these days. There's plenty of furor already over the off-the-wall khutbah at two mosques in Penang and the alleged racist-slanted speech by a runaway school principal. I was genuinely amused because I like jokes, especially the MAD Magazine variety. But once I regained my sense and sensibilities, I tried to make sense of each of these separate but subtly similar cases and keep it in proportion. A confused and lovesick khatib? Political conspiracy, as usual? I'm not sure what to make of it. But police has ruled out humour as a motive and floated the Sedition Act instead. Scary stuff. And that power speech, if the principal's objective was to find instant fame, she'd succeeded spectacularly judging from the speed and intensity of the brickbats. I wouldn't add anything to her strong views, but I like her literary and euphemistic expression. She writes poems?
1.Dump, baby, dump.
Fashion is back in fashion. In Malaysia all things worse than bad happen in series, with increasing intensity. The first one will almost always set a benchmark for followers to up the ante. Religious deviants, maid abuses, school gangsters, bogus doctors, missing children, you name it. And now baby dumping. Bumping off babies is fast becoming a trend, if it's not already. A day hardly passed without somebody stumbling on a foetus somewhere. The relevant and irrelevant authorities were all at sea with this spike in the ranks of the insane adolescents. PAS blamed Valentine Day and New Year tender moments. A sharp deduction by the clerics, who're clearly working without the benefit of a CSI-class paraphernalia. The NGOs called for early sex education. Lucky thing we've a Cabinet of sensitive and sensible ministers who decided on the shock-and-awe route: reclassify baby dumping as murder. NGOs, being what they are, were up in arms and lambasted Bung Mokhtar (although he's not in the Cabinet and he'd not dumped anything yet, but who cares). They still wanted early sex education, now even earlier, like pre-school. But all the clever ministers and feisty activists missed one important point, that baby dumping is just a trend. More of a fashion. The obvious solution is to stop this trend on its tracks. Make the fashion obsolete. How? Do nothing, that's how. I mean stop publicizing or sensationalizing any new foetus found. No news, no details, no graphic footage. Total blackout. The police would still investigate and lock up the suspect longer, but without scripted and staid press conferences or media releases. Any baby-dumping aspirant will now be completely demotivated as the message crosses his/her brainless head: that nobody dumps babies anymore, baby dumping is out of date, it's no longer hip to hate babies. Dump is dumb. This way, the Valentine or New Year love child will get to see the light of day.
2. Titanic traffic in monotone
The 10-day, 100 km monster traffic jam on a highway leading to Beijing finally ended on 25 August. At its height cars moved at a speed of 1 km in one whole day. A well-fed tortoise can cover four times longer in one day, if the poor guy can last that long in open Chinese roads full of exotic-meat lovers. Homesick Kelantanese who fret annually about 15-hr trips back home for Hari Raya should be thankful that their hometown isn't Beijing or near Beijing. You lucky people. I've my daily dose of traffic jam sending Sarah to school in the morning. I don't mind the full 20 -minute commute especially with the radio on. Until lately. You turn on the radio, and there he is: Dato' Seri Utama Rais Yatim on the air, extolling the virtues of jalur gemilang, adat perpatih and gotong royong in a dragging, archaic and utterly incomprehensible Malay. Imagine if I've to listen to his monotone for 10 straight days on the road to Beijing! All in all, we KL road users can pretty much consider ourselves a pampered lot. Only one or two-hour jams, not ten days. Idris Jala and his transformers should find this handy when they're up for another round of scare-mongering.
3. King Kong vs Mickey Mouse
Football again. But don't skip this one. Deep in debts and spurned by all genuine investors and Nigerian scammers, Liverpool has yet to get around its swaggering and blue-blooded ways. Ahead of the match against moneyed Manchester City, a senior Liverpool figure likened it to King Kong vs Mickey Mouse. He went on further to suggest that the City Sheikh should've waited and bought Liverpool instead. In the Liverpool hierarchy of lamebrains, this guy is right at the very top. Mr Lamebrain, the Sheikh is uber-rich, and if he actually wanted to buy Liverpool he'd have bought Liverpool (and get rid of you) whether or not it's available. He could've bought Barcelona or the entire Catalonia if he wanted to. The Sheikh bought Manchester City because he wanted Manchester City. That simple. He didn't want to buy a big, boring club and turn it into a big, boring club. No fun. He's looking for the adventure and romance of turning a richly talented team into world beaters. RM and MU should be afraid. Liverpool? Never mind.
Oh, that match. I think you know the score.
4. Papa and mama, don't preach
Just be careful about what you preach these days. There's plenty of furor already over the off-the-wall khutbah at two mosques in Penang and the alleged racist-slanted speech by a runaway school principal. I was genuinely amused because I like jokes, especially the MAD Magazine variety. But once I regained my sense and sensibilities, I tried to make sense of each of these separate but subtly similar cases and keep it in proportion. A confused and lovesick khatib? Political conspiracy, as usual? I'm not sure what to make of it. But police has ruled out humour as a motive and floated the Sedition Act instead. Scary stuff. And that power speech, if the principal's objective was to find instant fame, she'd succeeded spectacularly judging from the speed and intensity of the brickbats. I wouldn't add anything to her strong views, but I like her literary and euphemistic expression. She writes poems?
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