Who's Writing This Stuff

Manchester City are the English football champions!

It’s history now, but one worthy of reliving for its sheer drama, sensation and spectacle. It’s never quite sunk in: Aguero stabbed the ball home, plunging the proverbial knife into a million or more United hearts. One US ESPN commentator simply lost all control and restraint to let out a massive orgasmic scream: “Who is writing this stuff?!”. Raptorous cries of disbelief amid scenes of chaos and confusion sharply captured the seemingly scripted, bollywoodesque final flourish of what had been a season on steroid. Two goals at the death had cruelly snuffed out the flicker of somebody’s title number twenty. If City had to win the title, this had to be the only way.  

You don't have to guess. I'm a lifelong City follower, and I make no apologies about this. So it's an irony of sorts that City's epic triumph means it's my turn to eat crow and humble pie. In a recent scathing post, I recklessly wrote off City's title chances when its run was in senseless tailspin, with six more games to go. In hindsight, it’s a misadventure that's more misguided than the Malaysian submarines. I was sleep-walking, all broken and semi-psychotic after that loss to Swansea. I'd been to Wales once and long enough to dismiss Welsh culture of one-vowel-in-ten-letter words as a non-starter. So you can understand why losing to a Welsh backwater hadn't been that easy to live with.

Even for the most deluded of City fans, the reversal from eight points adrift to eight-goal ahead was beyond belief, and Aguero's last-gasp masterstroke was paranormal activity. I watched that goal, I don't know, 20, 30 times, and it got better every time. So other-worldly. It's a fleeting piece of poesy the way badboy Balotelli flicks and Aguero jinks, measures, strikes and buries all of 44 years of misery.

Misery? Never. City aren't United or York for a reason. They haven't won the league for more than 40 years, but if you follow this crowd, there's plenty of obsessive-compulsive pleasures on offer. Not to mention false dawns. Was it poet laureate A Samad Said who said setiap yang dihasrat tapi tak dapat, itulah nikmat yang paling padat, or something like that? I know life’s easier if you took the cut-and-dried route and declared yourself a fair-weather fan of United or Liverpool, just like the meek and me-too classmates at the old Tiger Lane, but what's the point? There's no fun in winning every time or nineteen times. Winning every 40 years is fine, and fun. I'll take this one.

United lovers and United-loving media, bitter to the bone, were out in force, falling all over with outlandish excuses and theories and grapes to cushion the blow and rub all the gloss off City's title. QPR surrender monkeys, goal difference, 19-3, Abu Dhabi, Pippa Middleton, you name it. Truth is, the title is won over 38 games, and United have had their unfair and disproportionate ride on luck and 10-man opponents all season. Look hard at Fletcher's goal against City at Old Trafford. Pure, sure luck. It's 0-6. Anyway, spare a thought for these sad detractors. How could they ever reconcile and get over the pain of one hand jealously holding on to the crown right into the last breath of the season.  Only for City to snatch it away.

I know what you're thinking. This moment of glory will stay. If City make it a habit to win the title every 40 years, I'll be either hundred or history when City take the next one. Either way, it'll be all fine, because the poet is right.   

Welcome to Malaysia, Guys.

 

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While we're at this, Forbes has recently floated a new number for the United fanbase: 659 million, more than double the previous 330 million. Here's a Yahoo! reader's thought on this:

"659 million fans?? Really? Approximately one in ten of the world's population? Whose misguided sad little moronic brain came out with this figure? I might have accepted 65.9 million......."

This straight-thinking guy, name Erik B, is from Concord, New Hampshire, USA, and I don't think he's a City supporter. Should we agree with him?
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Champions rejoiced. Me and Mike Summerbee, the City/England legend with the EPL Champions Trophy. We're both happy that City are English League Champions and Kelantan are Malaysian Super League Champions