Year 2011 promises to be one roaring, rabbit year. The super superstitious Chinese seem to believe that every new year brings a lot of luck, regardless of the animal. No year is a bad year. Even a snake year is a good year. I think this is the reason why Restoran Sri Melor, my wife's favourite roti canai joint, is flying a Happy Chinese Year banner with a crude sketch of a tiger on it. It's last year's banner, of course, but what's the difference, since every year is a prosperous year. A rabbit is as a good as a tiger. Mamak is right.
My earliest leporine experience harks back to the early nineties when my two boys were in primary school. We took in a rabbit (or was it a guinea pig?) as our pet. We fed him with carrot. Problem was, this guy ate non-stop, 24/7. I discovered that what he ate in a day was more than my two boys' combined vegetable intake for the whole of 1992. After two weeks, we put him out to pasture (a polite and political way of saying getting rid of a pet). I don't think he ever had a name. He's so busy crunching carrot that we'd no time to even name him.
The mad, mad world continues where it's left off in 2010. A long-running north African strongman fell. Another is fighting for dear life. Crude price is breaching USD100. Torres moved to Chelsea. And it's only February.
My earliest leporine experience harks back to the early nineties when my two boys were in primary school. We took in a rabbit (or was it a guinea pig?) as our pet. We fed him with carrot. Problem was, this guy ate non-stop, 24/7. I discovered that what he ate in a day was more than my two boys' combined vegetable intake for the whole of 1992. After two weeks, we put him out to pasture (a polite and political way of saying getting rid of a pet). I don't think he ever had a name. He's so busy crunching carrot that we'd no time to even name him.
The mad, mad world continues where it's left off in 2010. A long-running north African strongman fell. Another is fighting for dear life. Crude price is breaching USD100. Torres moved to Chelsea. And it's only February.
1. Pointless Procedure.
By the time you read this, most of the 10,000 or so students studying in various parts of Egypt are safely home, an outcome of a massive evacuation or "rescue operation" involving more than one ministries, more than one airlines, more than one countries (naturally) and, get this, more than one races (read 1 Malaysia). A deputy minister (an Indian) even risked his life. Just about everyone, it seems, pitched in to ensure that the operation was smooth and successful. And why shouldn't it be a success to begin with? What's there to stop us from ferrying those students back home? There's no war, no disaster, no flood and no threat of any form or scale that could potentially be in the way of the operation. The unrest and protests were in Cairo, not anywhere near the student hostels. What's exactly my point? The point is, this whole operation, costing a cool RM30 million, is pointless. Why get the Malaysians out of Egypt? Rescue? From what? Even Hosni Mubarak, the only one who's in real danger, stayed put. The Egyptian people wanted Hosni, not the Malaysian students, out of Egypt. So, if anybody at all should get out of Egypt, it's Hosni, not the Malaysian students. Of course the students, being students, were just too happy to be back in Kedah or Kelantan. They flew AirAsia without having to book one year ahead and buy their inflight meals and luggage space. Fast and free, there's little to complain. Some of them probably had been scraping in the Egyptian desert for six years and had only vague memories of the good life in Malaysia. The irony of all ostensibly well-meaning stunts like this is that they're fiendishly difficult to fault. It has all the look and qualities of a noble and virtuous undertaking. Even if it's politically loaded as alleged by fair-minded detractors, what can be bad about airlifting your people out of a hot spot?
We're remarkable for being consistently inconsistent. Remember when the Indonesian protesters roughed up our Embassy in Jakarta? They defaced, defecated and explicitly warned Malaysians: leave Indonesia or risk forcible ejection. What did we do? We issued a feeble protest note and a mild travel advisory. No rescue operation was even discussed. It's the right decision, of course. But why spend hot money now to "rescue" the Malaysians in Egypt? With ikan tenggiri now running at RM30 a kg and Rotiboy RM2 a pop, the money is better spent on saving Malaysians in Malaysia
2. Park Your Bus, Arse.
My friend, who religiously follows the English Football League, is still scratching his blank pate, full five days after Arsenal squandered a four-goal lead to draw with Newcastle. Had the game gone on for another five minutes, Arsenal would've lost 4-5. Real arse, this Arsenal. I'm not sure, but I heard that it's the first time that something like this happens in EPL. Arsenal are famous for playing a breathless, sophisticated and, at times, highly complex ball-passing football. It's there for all to see in the first half of that game. In the next half, the crybabies simply crumbled and crashed for no apparent reason. Perhaps they forgot to 'park their bus' a bit. It's fashionable now for an EPL team to accuse opponents of 'parking their buses' whenever they fail to win, alluding to opponents' strategy of mass and panic defending with only sporadic attacking (if at all) to protect a draw or a win. Arsenal accused Manchester City of parking their bus in the recent scoreless affair at the Emirates. City, in turn, blamed Blackburn, Birmingham and any team beginning with B for practising this dark art. I'm not sure how this expression got a life, but there's certainly a cynical edge to it. This is unfair. Football is as much about defending as attacking. Italy won the World Cup four times virtually by defending to death each time. It may not be a pretty sight, but there's no rule against parking buses. Arsenal learned this the hard way.
3. Tragic Trend
I've written here about Malaysians being a trendy lot. Bad things are popping up around us in series. Maid abuses, deviant teachings, baby dumping and, of course, bus crashes, slated to be the longest-running sequence in the annals of our country's tolled-road system. Now it's suicide. People are falling and plunging for no reason. Two or three in a day, it's hard to pass it off as isolated or remote. Suicide statistics are dodgy because some of the unexplained deaths have been classified under convenient catch-alls like undetermined, sudden or misadventure. With routine inquests now taking more than a year to return even open verdicts, it's definitely cheaper and greener to determine the cause of a death as misadventure. Something is bothering some of us to death. Ah Longs are the usual suspects, but were quickly ruled out when it's a young Chinese girl. So it's love triangle, or exams, or even tuition. Without early signs, it's difficult to prevent. Of course, there's the incoherent or curious entries in Facebook and so on, but Facebook entries and comments nowadays are mostly muddled and confused to begin with, making it impossible to detect any sign of impending mental dysfunction and breakdown. Suicides are sad and tragic but it's probably a trend. It'll disappear once an overly functioning chief minister comes up with another clever solution.
4. Watch out, wives.
Our Prime Minister's wife reminded all Malaysians to lead a healthy lifestyle, which includes proper dietary habits, plenty of exercise and stress-free homes. According to her, an average of six persons suffer a stroke every hour in Malaysia. She, quite rightly, appealed to all wives not to 'stress' their husbands. She revealed that she herself made it a point not to add stress to her husband's already hectic day. Sorry, I've nothing really to add.
We're remarkable for being consistently inconsistent. Remember when the Indonesian protesters roughed up our Embassy in Jakarta? They defaced, defecated and explicitly warned Malaysians: leave Indonesia or risk forcible ejection. What did we do? We issued a feeble protest note and a mild travel advisory. No rescue operation was even discussed. It's the right decision, of course. But why spend hot money now to "rescue" the Malaysians in Egypt? With ikan tenggiri now running at RM30 a kg and Rotiboy RM2 a pop, the money is better spent on saving Malaysians in Malaysia
2. Park Your Bus, Arse.
My friend, who religiously follows the English Football League, is still scratching his blank pate, full five days after Arsenal squandered a four-goal lead to draw with Newcastle. Had the game gone on for another five minutes, Arsenal would've lost 4-5. Real arse, this Arsenal. I'm not sure, but I heard that it's the first time that something like this happens in EPL. Arsenal are famous for playing a breathless, sophisticated and, at times, highly complex ball-passing football. It's there for all to see in the first half of that game. In the next half, the crybabies simply crumbled and crashed for no apparent reason. Perhaps they forgot to 'park their bus' a bit. It's fashionable now for an EPL team to accuse opponents of 'parking their buses' whenever they fail to win, alluding to opponents' strategy of mass and panic defending with only sporadic attacking (if at all) to protect a draw or a win. Arsenal accused Manchester City of parking their bus in the recent scoreless affair at the Emirates. City, in turn, blamed Blackburn, Birmingham and any team beginning with B for practising this dark art. I'm not sure how this expression got a life, but there's certainly a cynical edge to it. This is unfair. Football is as much about defending as attacking. Italy won the World Cup four times virtually by defending to death each time. It may not be a pretty sight, but there's no rule against parking buses. Arsenal learned this the hard way.
3. Tragic Trend
I've written here about Malaysians being a trendy lot. Bad things are popping up around us in series. Maid abuses, deviant teachings, baby dumping and, of course, bus crashes, slated to be the longest-running sequence in the annals of our country's tolled-road system. Now it's suicide. People are falling and plunging for no reason. Two or three in a day, it's hard to pass it off as isolated or remote. Suicide statistics are dodgy because some of the unexplained deaths have been classified under convenient catch-alls like undetermined, sudden or misadventure. With routine inquests now taking more than a year to return even open verdicts, it's definitely cheaper and greener to determine the cause of a death as misadventure. Something is bothering some of us to death. Ah Longs are the usual suspects, but were quickly ruled out when it's a young Chinese girl. So it's love triangle, or exams, or even tuition. Without early signs, it's difficult to prevent. Of course, there's the incoherent or curious entries in Facebook and so on, but Facebook entries and comments nowadays are mostly muddled and confused to begin with, making it impossible to detect any sign of impending mental dysfunction and breakdown. Suicides are sad and tragic but it's probably a trend. It'll disappear once an overly functioning chief minister comes up with another clever solution.
4. Watch out, wives.
Our Prime Minister's wife reminded all Malaysians to lead a healthy lifestyle, which includes proper dietary habits, plenty of exercise and stress-free homes. According to her, an average of six persons suffer a stroke every hour in Malaysia. She, quite rightly, appealed to all wives not to 'stress' their husbands. She revealed that she herself made it a point not to add stress to her husband's already hectic day. Sorry, I've nothing really to add.
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